I’ve looked at some who create and have wished that I could be on a single artistic track, having focus and goals. But for all my trying I finally came to a standstill. I’ve felt paralyzed by not having a single direction. So many times I have made decisions and wouldn’t get two feet before it seemed that one of my other favorite artistic pursuits was calling out to me in sadness that I would not visit again for a long time. Although, last year at this time I made the decision to begin writing children’s stories again only to realize a month later that the visual arts were more my passion and I’ve been totally fine with that decision, if not even relieved.
And that is how I felt when I realized that I didn’t want to choose, very relieved and empowered. I’ve decided that I can’t choose just one art form to specialize in…because I love them all! Or a least all of the ones I tend to dabble in.
You see, I’m not just a photographer, or painter, illustrator, ceramic artist (my focus in college and an art form that waits locked in my storage) or guitar player or just anything. I love to do so many things, and I know that there must be others just like me.
Recently I read a blog post by Katwise, a gal on Etsy that makes really fun coats, called Insperspiration. She has started a blog because she always wanted to write, and in her latest entry she says “if there is one thing I have learned in this journey of “being myself for a living” is that you just have to power through.” I saw that and it hit me, that is what I’ve been wanting.
After spending over 2 years try to ‘choose’ and define my artistic talent down to one major one that could be the main thing, I realized that this is what has been shutting me down. Ya might notice it’s been 7 months since my last blog entry here. But today I realized….I just want to be me for a living. The me that sews and gardens and draws crazy pictures. The one that that has polymer clay and jewelry findings on a table waiting to be played with. The one who spends hours in a store looking through all the cool art supplies to find a new pen. I’m tired of putting pressure on myself to fit a mold.
And since I’m not fitting into anyone’s mold I’m making my own. I’m not sure exactly what that will look like but I guess we’ll find out along the way. I hope to share my own personal uniqueness and gifts that have been given to me and hope that someone finds it enjoyable or useful. Today I am embracing who I am as a creative artist and look forward to sharing my world with you more. I can’t wait to see what it looks like but I hope it has many more pictures like this one I am sharing with you. One of my favorites from this year.